Listen to me read this Spider Queen Report >>>
Spider Queen Report FULL TEXT:
Fertile Soil
Open the computer so I may come to you through the 8 leg dance of the keyboard.
You are full of life force surging.
You can hear the chorus of all the people changing. Sensing the synapses shifting, they didn’t fire that way before. They didn’t know those things before. They know them now, and they can not unknow them.
And you, you are learning about what you prayed to learn about.
A concept you did not believe in
Until you were faced with the edges of your heart and the barriers that separated you from expanding into the ever growing present knowing pleasing throbbing heart space of cosmic love
You prayed to know true love
You knew then that you were asking to know something beyond what you had experienced.
You know that learning of the sweet means clearing out the bitter
You prayed to be healed of bitterness, resentment, control.
You asked, begged, pleaded to know the treasure of the cosmos true dance of love and to never ever go back to forgetting
You asked for ridiculous and audacious things
Good job. Well done.
This is the fertile soil of miracles.
Why ask for the reasonable, when you can ask for the impossible and delight in the ever expanding dance of the love of the cosmos bringing it into being?
Why would you back down now? After you burned three fires of transformation, took the weapons of control: -Uniform
-swords, guns, knives
-Prisons, schools, structures and walls
Poured them into the miracle fires and received:
-Personal expression
-tools
-Collaborative and generative landscapes of earth and buildings
From the core of your being. From the spinning of your own cells you called the war mongers, the rapists, the colonizers, the erasurers, and you enveloped them a miracle light that revealed the wounds and poured balms into the deep cervices. You vowed to be a place of peace. You vowed to become a safe haven for sacredness. You vowed to remember the truth of who you are and stay in form to awaken those around you. You called and asked and claimed and said yes to vibrating as healing. To be a balanced and restored pelvic bowl that balanced roots as you walked, one reverberating step at a time, down the street. Strangers, in an instant, taking a breath and settling into the depths of themselves from the resonance of the frequency of the knowing
of the truth of the love that we are
of the beauty of what life is
of the power that is creating and destroying and loving all the way.
You
Asked
For
this.
Not the suffering, not the injury, not the symptom of the injustice rooted deep across the globe. You asked for the healing.
You know that most healing requires exposure, an access point for the support to come in, for the toxins to come out and be released. For the energy and the nature of life and balance to flow and move.
You, in your own body, have breath by breath found a crack in the essence of the painful things enough to let the god light find its seeping.
You have to open the door, or crack the shell, or inhale a thread of faith. Once that true power gets in, it will work from the inside.
You have seen it too many times to doubt this truth. You have witnessed the nature of healing and restoration. You have heard the screams that were silenced for years come out and on its tails the very tendrils of the wisdom and the know-how of how to live differently, how to create a reality that is not that.
A step in golden light out of one inherited pattern into a visionary world of new patterns.
You have felt the ache of the brain, headaches that are the synaptic dance of pathways dissolving while others emerge. You have felt the dawning of what was unfathomable become real, manifested, witnessed, and imagined. You have been there. Seen it. Tasted it. You have taught it. Watched as someone who thought their ache, brace and prepare for impact body response, with a wince and a turn away face,
soften to touch and communicate in full steady breath and openness to what is now, here. Memory past past, no longer alive.
You have watched as one person’s guided breath by breath focus weave their light lattice into another form and another in a circle who never thought that shit was real see it happen and then feel it in their bones and weave themselves a new way.
You have watched yourself and others know exactly what could be done to make a peaceful path and t urn away and do the opposite out of habit, out of fear, out of protection, out of survival, out of avoidance of pain. You have watched yourself from the depths of your unconscious mind say things you knew were not true, but you could not name the truth, slaughtered by ego’s rampage your quiet voice had to wait it out till the storm passed, and the most true thing you could say amidst the rage was “this is not how I want to behave.” You have caught yourself in your own pain, pet your face and hushed the anguish of the child grief while the heart ache and confusion of a grown woman sat together in a car wondering what would come of you while being determined that what would come would be a living miracle.
You have walked into, through, given rise to, been evidence of, and provided miracle after miracle.
You have taken the broken pieces of identity and belief and made a collage, burned it in a sacred fire, laid offerings a top and waited for days in the pulsing of your uncomfortability to think a new thought. You have awoke to think a new thought.
You have demanded kindness from yourself. You have exposed and acknowledged your short comings. Asked for forgiveness and granted it in heaps and repeatedly. Balm after balm, day after day until the burn healed and the skin was soft to the touch, till the skin grew back all layers, and the hair, even the hair returned. You have tended your aches and made gardens from the wasteland.
You have. You will. You have and you will.
You have looked yourself in the eye and said, “I know I tried to heal you out of what you wanted. Today, I accept that this is who you are, wanting what you want, and today I look you in the eye, acknowledge I am afraid we can not have that, that wanting that means never getting what you want.” You looked at yourself, smile creeping across your face, after the tears, and shame, and nodding sigh passed. Your smile couldn’t help but rise because you know…
Your desire is the force of creation. It doesn’t have to exist for you to get it. Your desire is the beckoning call to existence to bring it into being. So in the very longing you have becomes a herald of what is to come.
Times of pain make that knowing questioned as a means to get out of hurting. When the pain is tended and the hurt is held, the timeline illusion falls away again and the sacred desire call becomes its own complete experience of prayer and god self song. You are no longer waiting for what you want. The want is wanting and you are living and they are united in your breath life song. You are allowed. Permission granted. You are what you are, will want what you want. Will live as you will live and none will be burdened by the other as it is the gorgeous uncontrolled dreamscape of things left unmoored. You wanted to live and travel and see. So open your eyes on the deck and see. You’re drift at times knowingly, and other times with a dip and pull you glide with the wind. You remember that you are the sea, creature.
You feel you left the listening and wandered into metaphor junkie town,
Breathe.
One more round.
You are not out of the mouth of the dragon we put you in. You are not yet out of the trap we laid to capture your attention so as to receive these requested lessons. You are so very close. You can taste it. More accurately you can hear it, Just on the other side of the cosmic wall. The coyotes sang the few nights, and you felt they we’re calling you home… you know you are meant to gather, be together, together. There is softening that has yet to come. You’re bracing still. You’re holding your breath, You notice it most when you startle so quickly. When oh when will you let down? You will. They are coming sweet one. And you are about to have as much fun as dolphins in mating season. You are about to sing your delights and watch the flood gates of miracles and dreams come. You are about to dance in the stars and treasures you have prayed for.
You are about to watch this earth be reborn. And you are going to feel joy through it all.
Not because you can, or you should, or because you’re wrong, or you’re this or that. You will feel joy for one reason and reasons all.
It’s your job, that you came for. Illuminate the path. Joyful powerful loving planet. You will resonate and sing her home with all you have till your earth day walks are done. You have come and you will sing her home.
You must for you are alive and it is the only way home.
