Dear One,
The last time I wrote I said I would have a big reveal at the end of the week. Well, as always learning learning learning, things that are alive and vibrant have their own perfect time lines, that sometimes are not concerned with mine : ) . Hopefully the big reveal will come this weekend — we’ll see together, you and I, when it will be!
I want you to save the date for September 27th, Saturday, for the free online virtual event full of wisdom and healing that I will be announcing soon.
Chapter 1 — The Cross Country Adventure
My incredible wife has made the brave choice of selling her 15-year-old business, our beloved Reiki School + Clinic, to take time to discover, play, heal and adventure. We are driving off in early October on a month-long road trip across the country and will be arriving in California in November to find our spot for the year. The vision (I rarely say plan — I see a path, I am walking it, co-creating it, responding to it, in real time) is to be out west for a year to be with our muses in a time of fun and self discovery.
For me it’s a time of dedication to the evolution of my teaching, mentoring, and healing work *in* the world. It’s a powerful time of transition. Full of excitement, nerves, grief, and an immense gratitude for life and freedom and possibility.
★
It’s finally time to share about my wedding. I was thinking this morning, how often when I have a very profound experience it can take months before I want to talk about it or share, and in some ways, I think that is because they are still happening. My marriage feels like that.
In the past month I got the question during my morning practice — “what if I leaned all the way into being married . . . just lean all the way in and find out what life is then.” So here I am leaning. And loving. I have to tell you — I love being married every day a little more. I am pretty sure that’s because leaning into reality is a very peacemaking thing.
I often have a harder time sharing the joy than the hardship — so this is big — I am sharing with you a precious and dear time in my life. I hope this will nourish your wells and support our heartfelt prayers and journey.
★
Chapter 2 — The Wedding
Kim and I had a many layered wedding. At the time, gay marriage wasn’t recognized by PA so we made plans to be married in DC, which meant that instead of, “by the power vested in me by the state of . . . ” we were married after tear and smile filled vows, “by the power vested in me by the supreme court and congress of the United States,” we are legally married. We laugh a lot about how we’re, like, really married.
The part I really want to share with you, but I have mixed feelings of how to share it, is the heart of our marriage commitment. You know I think companionship, partnership, commitment, community, family and tribe, are all health improving things. Marriage is not required for those connections.
The idea of marrying another person, a human, with the goal of bettering my and their life in many fundamental ways was contrary to the tenants by which I live now. I didn’t and don’t want to join with another person and become 1 (in the way that makes me or them a half), make another person’s happiness my responsibility (have I learned nothing — no one’s feeling are mine to determine), I am not owned nor looking to own, and I put my spiritual path first, God as number 1, spirit guidance the resting place. These beliefs didn’t seem to fit with common examples of marriage I’ve seen.
There’s also that whole perspective of ONENESS in the first place . . . is marrying redundant entirely? Perhaps.
And yet I had this feeling we would someday get married — like a vision, a calling, a longing that I follow like a beacon, trusting that the path it leads me down is going to be awesome, even if the destination isn’t what I thought.
So . . . I sat and I mediated, and prayed . . . you know how I do . . . and I sought council. Over and over the answer came clear.
I asked my inner guidance, my root voice, highest self:
In alignment with my optimal expression on the planet,
Can I marry Kim?
No.
((guh))
Can I marry God manifested through Kim?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Every time I thought about marriage for me this way I knew clear as day that I can be married to God everyday, and in fact that’s what I wanted. I want to consciously marry the Divine in another. I want to walk with a human as a human and commit to loving the Divine and deepening my love affair (I like to hold my heart, smile and look up, liken my love affair to the ones Rumi, and Hafiz write about).
I wanted and want to have a life long commitment to that — I mean, to a soul on a spiritual path of growth on this planet, 80 years is a blink, half a blink . . . its not even that long to learn how to love God more.
So we went to beach to write our vows, got in a fight, about what, can’t recall — its clear now in hindsight it was the anxiety of committing and investing our lives in this massive prayer, public status, and an evolving household dynamic. I mean, that’s a big deal and could put any person on edge. Then we mediated and wrote the first draft of our vows. The long form had rounds that evolved, but the beginning we used was pretty much the same from that beach day to our personal marriage contract and wedding day vows:
Self:
Dear God, Beloved, Great Spirit, seen and unseen, heard and unheard, Great Mother, Oneness, Divine, the Spirit Who Moves Through All things, and all that and more, that which is beyond the articulation, comprehension, and experience of human form; I dedicate my life to the use of your Divine Will. This marriage is my marriage to You, a reflection of my practice and dedication to my fullest potential as an expression of your love.
I marry your form as is manifested in myself and Kim (she said Sophia).
Kim (Sophia), as a reflection of the Divine Mystery that is all things, do you marry and join me in the dedicated practice of partnership, through which we will forge ourselves, each other, our family, and our impact and work in the world as our optimal expression of love?
Wife:
“I do.”
And we then we spoke vows to help us bring that commitment into reality.
I want to share with you some images from the magic and healing of the marriage festival we had that included hardcore dodgeball and a lot of music and dancing.
[portfolio_slideshow exclude=”1475, 1474″]
Photo Credit: Nick Antony Photography
The healing that took place in this weekend has been spinning and weaving me into another kind of existence.
We are all changing — everyday. You are. I am. Creating our world with our beliefs, our investments, our choices. Its a powerful thing to think about. The world, the whole thing is just made up by the mixing of us all . . . and yet when we look for a certain thing we are sure to find it.
This week — let’s look for love. Mystery taking care of us. Change being a gift of betterment, and my favorite . . .
permission to be
just
as
I You We
am. Are. Are.
In love and gratitude,
Sophia
