It’s been a very emotional week for me. Personally — getting ready to teach and reveal this next project is very exciting and inspiring. Risky and vulnerable and awesome — and . . .
The deep, important, and painful awakening that our country is going through right now has been touching me everyday.
I want to share how allowing myself to feel deeply opened me at those depths to feel new levels of inspiration and love.
I am going to share some of my personal and journal writing to bring you on the journey with me. I hope it serves your healing and awakening heart.
This week the verdicts in the Grand Jury cases for Mike Brown and Eric Garner were announced. In both cases the Grand Jury DID NOT indict the cops who murdered these men. I am in Taos and there were no rallies in NM that I could find — so we prayed by the fire. I prayed for the changing of the tides. I did this in solidarity with the thousands marching, chanting, protesting, crying, calling out. THIS STOPS TODAY. The heart’s cry is one of the strongest prayers I know.
It is such a beautiful and also truly painful path to awaken and SEE and know what is around us and within us. At the crest of it for me, it was like a wave — I grabbed all my burnt offerings: mugwort, sage, cedar. I threw them in the fire in their entirety and prayed and wept. Then I asked for protection and gave in solidarity for those who raise their voices, support for those who wake, and blessings on those healing.
I took to the scissors and in a full hearted manner used one of the oldest and world wide grief rituals: I cut my hair. Not in one clump, but small grasp by small grasp I offered my life again to reforming and recreating. Birthing and creating this new Just existence. None of that can be done if we do not see it, what is currently there before us. If we are to turn lead into gold we must first lift and feel the weight of the lead. My prayers are with you. My faith runs deep.
Deep space was made in me from that. I am moonlodging, which means I am taking solitude in my sacred bleeding time, and most often I sleep alone during this time, which was the case here. I woke up early (for me) and sat up in the quiet of the soft morning.
I reached for my journal and wrote this:
WHAT : ) Dec 6th how did that happen . . . Whaaaaaa?
What an earth walk. It will be a blink and another 30 years will have passed by . . . what shall I remember on Dec 6th of my 60th year round the sun?
–> I will lay down and look up at the clear sky and silent grateful tears will stream down my smile-laughter lined face . . . Remembering . . .
Remembering when the Fungi Restoration Project was launched world wide and we watched over 6 months, 1 year, 3 years as the waters, soils, and flesh of the planet healed. Cleaned, pH balanced, mineralized, alkalized, wove, mended, flowed.
I remember the face of the Goddess as the waves crashed in — the water rising — instead of fighting everything — everything adapted, changed.
And of course, the day the Wars ended. Ended.
Drums. The drums, the heartbeat, the rising of remembering. The hold of the Whole. The belief in justice — Justice prevailing. The shifting of Us and Them to acknowledging — it is just an Us. It is just an Us any way you slice it. Looking back it happened so fast, just a few years. At the time every step was like a step on a rope bridge that hadn’t been used in 2 millennia. Risky, unguaranteed, beautiful, and 10,000 feet above rushing rocks and water.
Everyone I love either 1 step ahead or just a few steps back on the same striking and one way bridge. How did we cross like that? For years everyday a step or 3 or none. Some of the most beautiful nights of my whole life. Dancing at Burning Man was the spell casting — I know it in my bones — that brought the other side of the bridge closer — dancing and singing anywhere and everywhere did it. I had never danced in my life the way we danced in those years. We were dancing for our lives, your life, mama earth’s life. We pounded our feet. We thought our hearts would Burst and when they did it was like the northern lights — and we wove with Spider the world we would land on.
I lay, face wet, with all the hands and feet and hearts who walked, danced, sang, chanted, rallied our way here. Clear sky. Infinite possibilities and I rest knowing every mouth that is hungry is well fed (if they want it). We thought it was impossible, an impossible we wouldn’t stop at getting.
Freedom, love, security, Health.
It’s a good life. I wonder what the next 30 years will bring — I’m sure even better than I can imagine.
What does your soul want to remember happened in our world 30 years from now?
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
I highly recommend watching this brilliant TedX talk about consciousness and making a real impact and change in this matter. It’s worth the 18 minutes, truly.
Sophia Wise One